Wednesday, June 6, 2007

Miss Kitty takes a rest from spring hunting

Washing up liquid

AT THE check-out in the supermarket this afternoon, whiling away time as you do, while the queue moves slowly forward to the pulsating peep, peep, peep of the bar code reader - I noticed that the couple in front of me had bought washing up liquid. Whether this was before or after the till girl rang for assistance, standing and holding up a box of Durex contoured condoms, to ask the price - I can't remember. I can only remember how glad I was that it wasn't me. Anyway, back to the washing up liquid - Some bright spark had thought to call it 'Exotic Washing Up Liquid'.
What is exotic about washing up? It certainly isn't in our house. Even if the liquid smelt of Caribbean islands, Chanel No 5 or passion fruit salad, washing up would not be exotic. In any case it convinced the couple up front. Let's hope the condoms do too. A sort of exotic, erotic shopping trip. Who would have thought that a visit to the local Lidl could offer so much. Struck by curiosity I was dying to rush back and find out what 'exotic' smells like but I was trapped by the trolley behind me. Another day perhaps... or there again, perhaps not.

Tuesday, June 5, 2007

Great looking grass

Thoroughly recommend grass-ripping-out to relieve stress. Not only do you feel better, but you get great pleasure out of the rough physical effort, and to boot - a great looking lawn... what more could I want.. actually...

Body count goes up

SADLY our body count has gone up - it's now four mice, one bird, two lizards and one sales director - Oh sorry, how silly, it must have been wishful thinking. Well, here we are at the thankful end to a difficult working day, but nothing life threatening so I must be grateful for that. Following a little grass-ripping-out session I now feel a lot calmer.

Monday, June 4, 2007

A true portrait

A true portrait of daily office hysterics. I'm the one in red at the top lefthand side (I think...)
SON had a slight medical problem so I rang his doc this afternoon, thinking they’d be open but I was too quick or they were late. In any case, I got the answerphone. Instead of the usual “leave a message” spiel, a metallic male voice said “Memory full, please call later”.

Isn’t that wonderful! If a machine can have a full memory, then surely I, a middle-aged blonde qualify on a regular basis to use the same phrase. I think so. So from now on, I shall just say that when things become too much. “Mum?…” “Sorry, memory full, please come back later”….

Sunday, June 3, 2007

A splodge of geranium fuzzy-felt fuschia

Garden body count

GLORIOUS Sunday. Cool breeze coming off the Mediterranean, sky blue, sun hot, shade deliciously cool and all the flowers are out in the garden - even the grass is still looking green. Sneaking around watering every two days now. Like I said before, no hosepipe ban but I still feel guilty as there are other parts of Andalucia that have water restrictions - so I try to be careful.
Sadly spring brings its usual garden body count as the cats sharpen their nails and hunting skills. So far four mice, one bird, one lizard and, thankfully, no snakes. Kitty is top for birds, Socki for mice and Tom? Who knows. On a very windy evening last week we came home to find Kitty had cornered a rather large baby blackbird. Luckily, with Mini Mama's screaming and flaying (distracting Kitty's attention) - it got away. Son picked up Socks and put him inside. Then he and I watched the hilarious spectacle of lithe Kitty running around the garden with Mini Mama thundering about behind her, trying to catch her. Finally, cunning won over speed - and in the house they came and we hoped the night would enable the blackbird to make it back to safety. No body - so looks like it did.

Friday, June 1, 2007

Lip Service

WHAT an experience! A couple of days off work and there I was with my mother and daughter (known to her inner family circle as Mini Mama on account of her being a smaller version of me) trawling the store I love to hate – El Corte Ingles. Love to hate because its overpriced and the shop assistants have no idea what customer service means. But mum loves it and she was only here for a short visit. While she tried on clothes I wandered over to some lipsticks claiming to pump up your lips to grouper fish size. What fun! I’d heard about them but never seen any before. With a less than generous upper lip I was game to try so while the shop assistant slapped on one she swore by – I chose another. Then we stood there for a while and watched how each other’s lips got redder and more swollen. On the inside, it felt like I’d kissed a stinging nettle. Not unpleasant but not something I’d like to go through on a regular basis. I thanked the girl, saying I’d be back another day and wandered back to mum. My daughter caught me up. She could see some difference. I definitely felt like a grouper fish by now but it was more apparent to me than to others.

The 'after' photo

The 'after' photo. Despite fat lips I really didn't feel at my most attractive